Jesus said to his disciples: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that 'every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
Homily
Today’s Gospel begins with these words from Jesus: “If your brother…” This sets the tone for how we should behave with others—not with an air of superiority, but as brothers and sisters.
When you do see a brother or sister falling into sin, you should correct them with gentleness and love, just as God corrects you. In Proverbs 3:12, we read, “The Lord corrects the one he loves, as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”
I’m sure we all have painful memories of being corrected, especially when the correction was an expression of superiority or control or anger or impatience. When there is ego in the act of correcting, it’s guaranteed to harm you in the end, even if it does manage to correct your behavior in the short term. Why? Because the ego doesn’t know how to love, and so it doesn’t know how to correct properly. If you truly love someone, your love itself will correct them—and quite often without the need to say a single word. But if you do feel the need to use words, then follow these three simple steps.
Step One: Pray! Pray! Pray! Then honestly ask yourself what is it that’s motivating you to want to correct your brother. Is it anger? Is it the desire to humiliate?Is it the need to show your superiority? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then stop immediately, because these are the poison fruits of the ego, and you’re just not ready or qualified to correct anyone. But if your motivation is based on genuine love and concern for your brother, then go on to step two.
Step Two: Pray! Pray! Pray! Then honestly examine your own life and see if you’re guilty of the same faults that you want to correct in someone else. This self-examination will help you to avoid the risk of focusing on the splinter in your brother’s eye, while ignoring the beam in your own eye. Clean your own spiritual house first, before you try to clean someone else’s house!
Third Step: Pray! Pray! Pray! Then ask God to give you the perfect words, the perfect timing, and the perfect place to offer your humble and loving correction. Remember, Jesus promises that where two or three are gathered in his name, he will be there with them. Jesus will give you the words that you need to say at the right time and the right place.
Finally, let’s not forget that when we are the ones who receive the correction, we have to act with humility and gratitude, because God has seen fit to put us back on the right track. At the time it hurts when others tell us that something isn’t right in our life, but later we see that it helps us to improve. It’s a fact that others often know our defects and shortcomings better than we do. But with God’s help, and with our sincere efforts, we can help one another grow in the grace and love of God. I’ll end with these words from St. Paul’s letter to the Philippians: “The one who has begun a good work in you will bring it to completion.” (Phil 1:6) Amen!